universes inside physics laws unbending impossible to change.
Why can't we change physical laws?
Why mind is different than physics and allows and desires bendable physics.
Why are we not inside the physical system. And in what system are we,
one that contains physics and is not contained in it.
Seeking freedom inside brackets.
I don't feel the urge to fuck anymore. Is too small and limiting is too one sided and one rile only. The pleasure now is not anymore because it doesn't have in it the fear the unachievable the risk and the wonder that you do something impossible. Something unreachable. The amazement of doing the undoable. So now the issue is to find a way to make this contact between man and woman an experience that is fulfilling so deep so existential as that initial fear/pleasure that you stepped into at the beginning. I think is the same with men and women and also with all fear/pleasure experiences.
Some of art deals with this. Some deal with beauty, as a tool to teach learn and continue a pattern of being that is sustainable able law of nature abiding (if true) .
I want to disarm people.
Disarm them from their inner weapons. Disarm them and give them the possibility to feel and perceive life in freedom.
We build weapons inside. To protect ourselves from the others. To contraatac and never again let the others hurt us.
Weapons are build by those that don't get the chance to understand their fears. That identify with them. That build themselves around them. That buried them deep and start believing that those bundle of inner fears make their own self, the totality of all they most inner and most close 'are' .
I make films that disarm. Both actors and spectator.
Both myself and all the crew. We have to fight to through our weapons away.
That is my mission.
That is what I do unconsciously for as long as I can remember.
Beings that grow out of plants, beings that grow out of ruins and forgotten knowledge. That is why we filmed in an abandoned and burned old factory.
It was amazing to find nature inside a building, nature that grows in its own language, in its mistery as the Beings do too.
Fucked by someone that doesn't know my language, someone that I do not understand and feel enormous distance to.
I feel trapped in GUILT
Guilt for what I am
and I need a big Cock to drill me Open
Open to the Raw, Basic Reality
I am too lost in the numbness of pain.
All our daily actions feel like Transgressions
Walking on the street, shopping, working, talking at the phone, meeting people, paying bills, going out, dreaming at night, waking up in the morning.
If there would be nothing to fear about, our souls would fill the void with the compressed and hidden light of our beings.
A weird strange different system of life.