Unmade - Initiation of Lara

Ella and Tony have a red thread - shoe lace - turned around their hands a few times.

Ella and Tony are naked beside Lara. They put a hood on her head and lay her down very gentle.
They meditate for about 10 breaths, the space becomes quiet.
Very easily Ella and Tony start cutting away Lara’s clothes. She reacts, she feels the scissors on her skin, she wonders off in dreams and then back in the feeling and sound of the cutting. Parts of her become free and she feels air.
Ella and Tony cut holes out of her clothes until Lara is naked, naked with pieces of clothes all around her. She has a red thread put inside her Pussy and Ass.
Ella and Tony play with Lara’s body, her organs, her skin and muscles inside.
Ella pulls out the thread and puts it into a bowl, a Tibetan singing bowl. Tony starts masturbating and sperms in the bowl. Ella puts wine in the bowl and mixes the content.
They get Lara up near them and take her hood off. Lara is sweated and confused. Her lack of light, of so much stimuli, lack of air, heat, sweat made her oozy.
They give her to drink from the bowl. She drink all and then Ella puts her hand inside Lara’s mouth and pulls the Thread out and then she puts it around her hand.

They all three sit naked between Lara’s cut up clothes.

Looking for someone

I am looking for someone to film with, in Bucharest, noise and video performance projects.

Masturbation Against Survivalism

Masturbation as a reaction against survivalism.
We do not want to reproduce our bodies we replicate into others our beliefs and knowledge about the depths of the world.

What a man has to do is only to fight to survive. When survival comes easy, what the man can do? He finds himself dazed by the situation. He has nothing to do. All his life is instinctual oriented to survival so his mind will go there always but in other ways.

All that motivates a man and a woman, is survival (existential) nothing else.

A woman's survival, maybe, has something to do with making babies. So it might be finding a mate good to produce babies and care for them.
So she might be into -  survival of the other and caring to socialize to belong to a group where she can find a good mate. And after she has children she survives with all her being through her children.

Those that do not feel like this are defected, those people are Us. Defected people with no instinct of survival of Self, but survival of the Truth. That ambiguity and mysterious non-thing.

The Weak and Stupid Purity

There is no authority, we follow the wisdom of the Weak and the Stupid. We help them become leaders of the unfollowers - us. *** We exercise humility, we renounce periodically at all we have. By doing so we, unwillingly, feel humble and so so very inferior to all the other people that are not us. They mock us. They laugh at us, making us feel belittled they kill our egos, our certainties, all our powers. We remain small and inferior. We remain imperfect so that we’ll not be overcome with joyous pride and confidence. Pride in what? Confidence in what? We only keep our selves paying all our attention to the changing moment. For all is changing so so fast. Inside us, and even more outside. All there really exists is Purity.

Unmade - Pussy

Unmade - are posts about what I would like to do and couldn't find a way to do it. Either no performers or no financial possibilities. Usually no performers because my ideas are often too pornographic, too emotional, transgressive, too truthful without any possibility of hiding behind a controllable Persona.


Flashes of a hand painting in red another body. Long lines across Li's body encircle her genitals and go up her spine and belly toward her chest and between her breasts. Big close lines, wet, just painted, almost dripping. Her face is partly eaten by this red paint. The rest in covered in patches of glued fabric and fur. She is a monster. An idyllic saintly monster.

Li stays on a little table, crossed legged. She is silent, her eyes are closed. In front of her there are naked people praying to her. Their foreheads are on the ground, their hands straight in front towards her.
Out of her Pussy come out two wool red wires that go into the people's mouths. The people that pray in front of her. Tied to their tongues.
Under her closed eyes, she sees a big overwhelming hole. A big overwhelming falus.
She stars uttering words, words about a mystic union between two matters, a sublimated union in which the two sides become one. One vivid and alive entity made out of pure orgasm.

“Someone have stolen me from this body.
I am still connected but I can not return to my body.
I’ve been cut off in a dream”
“You are here, you are in front of us.”
“I am not, this is only my shell,
my dear, pearl shell,
lost in the darkness of the see”

Two mouths kiss, then they go apart and from their mouths exits a muslin, long very long, 6, 7 meters long.
In front of her, the people touch themselves. the people make love with one another.


The first feeling brought by our acquaintance with 'that world' should be the feeling of wonder, and this should grow, becoming greater and greater as acquaintance with it becomes better. And the better we know a thing the greater will be our wonder and the more shall we discover in them of the new and unexpected.
We must seek the hidden meaning, we must strive with all our might to notice all those apparent subjective differences between objects which we feel so painfully clearly as glimpses in a world of realities. These differences are the realities of the noumenal world, much more real than all the maya of our phenomena.

PD Ouspensky - Tertium Organum

At the Window


We fear in the same extent
both God and the Evil,
both Truth and Lie,
both the forbidden and the law,
both pleasure and pain,
both Love and Hate,
so where are we?
What place encloses us that doesn't let us do nothing without breaking our souls to do it?
What place that kills us and hardens us when letting us sail in comfort and peace of mind?
Why true beauty is so painful.
There are no evil people, there is only evil nature.
There are no good people, there is only good nature.

Earth Eye male